You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
