I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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