i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
