his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
