i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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