I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
...so i touched it.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
