he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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