I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize