Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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