OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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