hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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