im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
