Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
