Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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