Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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