It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
