i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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