LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
