I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I wish there were birth control emojis
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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