how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
