He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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