i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
