I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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