didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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