I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
