So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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