he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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