Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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