I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
