Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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