my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
