Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize