are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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