...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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