when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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