allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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