She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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