Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
