but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize