Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
