just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
