Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
