just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
