I met the friendliest cop last night
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
