"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
