Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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