the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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