She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
