he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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