Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize