ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
