I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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