he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
