so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
