you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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