I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
