My hand turned me down
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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