I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
