weddingsv make me drug and hornr
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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