You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
