he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I think my moral compass just broke
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
